Bad Tummy. Super Bad.

Working as a call center agent on a night shift spells danger. Robbers. Rapists. Sleepy drivers. Drug addicts. Gang wars. Rushing trucks and cars. Slippery roads. Mad dogs. Mosquitoes. And so many more. However, the worst danger that could put the bravest call center agent into a knee-shaking situation is none other than…ehem, LBM. Just three letters and it could ruin a career of a professional agent. Here’s my story.

Photo By Ramon

Part One

Before I went to work on the Monday shift, that was Sunday, I was not feeling well already. I knew that my very sensitive stomach was on protesting mode. I took one capsule of medicine and went to work. It was so scary. Good thing, nothing bad happened.

Before I went to work for my Tuesday shift, I was already thinking twice if I would go or not. I didn’t have that much luck kept in my closet, you know. I thought of Ms. Shee then I decided to go. I was thinking I might go on half-day instead if nature was in total bad mood, you know what I mean. When I left the house, it was raining. I thought it was a sign that I should not go. However I was thinking of my $250.00 for the month of March. I already lost my $150.00 for February. That was enough catastrophe. I couldn’t afford to lose them both. I have so many financial liabilities to pay, err.

Going to work, I was trying to feel my stomach. It was like there was me and my stomach, two different persons talking to each other. I was talking to him, begging him to behave and let the whole shift pass without putting me on unimaginable status of embarrassment. I thought he heard me because he finally behaved. It is all in mind, Fernand Yim. I kept telling this line to myself that it sounded like a chant already to me.

When I was to log-in on HRIS, all the computers froze and they were not accepting my finger print! Another sign? Err. While walking on the hallway, I felt my stomach move in a painful way and it alarmed me in I-saw-dead-people-walking kind of feeling. I went to the sleeping room, sat on the comfy sofa and had the chant again. It is all in mind…all in mind.

Before I took my first call, I approached Ms. Shee about it. Sincere concern registered on her face. It made me happy a bit. I said it was not that serious but it was serious. She asked for a clue. I told her it was about me. She then said, LBM? Arg, did I stink already? How did she know right away? She assured me that all I needed to do was to call her attention whenever I needed to leave my station. She was under the impression that going to comfort room would make me okay. My stomach issue was different. I couldn’t explain it. Like I said before, as much as possible I don’t want to take any medication because it is just a natural occurrence in the body that needs to go into process. Besides, drinking the medicine has a side effect on me, a very painful and irritating one.

After two calls, I told Ms. Shee that I thought I needed to go. She advised me to go to the clinic first which I did. The clinic, by the way, is located on the 36th floor on the other side of the building. The elevators on that side of the building are super slow so…a big good luck to me.

In the clinic, I met this fortyish nurse who accommodated me right away. I told her about my case. She asked me if there was sipon (What’s sipon in English?) in my you-know-what. You could say yuck. I would understand that. I was like, err. I said none. Then she gave me two capsules of medicine. I told her about the side effect it had on me, hoping that there was something else she could offer me. And it turned out there was none. She just advised me that instead of taking them at the same time, there should be six-hour gap before the second capsule. I was waiting for her to say more, thinking that I might need to lie on the white bed they had there, or they might need to do some check-ups on me, Don’t you think you need to listen to my heartbeat? Things like that, however, she already nodded to me like saying, you could go now so that I could watch TV alone. Then I left the room.

Going down from 36th floor was another challenge to me. Inside the elevator with other nine people, I thought I felt my stomach move in a most threatening way, err, please not now! Then the elevator stopped at the third floor. I was already screaming inside my head. But then again, like a miracle, my fear had not yet materialized. Sigh.

Back to my station, I was hardly moving on my seat. Ms. Shee approached me then Ms. Agatha showed up behind her. Many thanks to both of them that they let me go home. I heard Jasmin remind me of eating banana and hard-boiled egg behind my back as I approached the door.

Part Two

I was waiting like forever in Dela Rosa for a bus going to either Sta. Cruz or Alabang. I didn’t have a watch or a cellphone but I knew an hour had already passed by. I should do something. I couldn’t just stand there. While walking, I felt my stomach had a bad twist that I needed to stop and summon all my powers to take over the control of my body. “You are just one part of my digestive system, so you should listen to me!” I told to him, to my stomach. I think it was a bad move because I was starting to sweat really badly. I remembered the other capsule, didn’t care of the six-hour gap, with my shaky hands I took it with one quick gulp of a bottled iced tea. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. When my stomach was finally dead silent, I started walking again.

More minutes passed by before I got a jeep to Ayala-MRT. There I waited for any bus. It was not the right time to be picky on which bus to ride. Besides I didn’t have any other option but to take those suicidal buses. Those buses which are like flying that you need to hold real tight on your seat or you might be thrown out the window even before you have said, “Para sa tabi.” To some point, I was thankful that the driver was driving like that. That night seemed to be the longest night of my life.

Many times I wished I could pull the end of the road towards me so that we could get there right away. Sometimes I wished I could fly. Problem was that I didn’t know Manila or Makati that much. I might be lost in the atmosphere. Then I wished I could do teleport. Same problem applied. I might appear in crowded place or something like that. I also wished that in just one blink I could wake up from this painful nightmare. And, of course, none of these happened.

Along the way, the suicidal bus had to stop for the two passengers. Trouble was that they had so many things with them and I hated them for that. So it took like two minutes before the bus started to fly again, err. I tell you, that was the longest two minutes of my life.

At the Toll Gate in Alabang, the electronic pre-paid thing was not working. I was really running out of patience. Why now? Why now? After that was fixed, the suicidal bus stopped again for the Inspector to let him…err, inspect the bus? That was the first time in my life that I felt so much anger for someone who was doing nothing bad to me. Well, indirectly they did. Then the bus flew again.

It was so hard to believe but it was another waiting game I had to endure in Alabang. My stomach was in total pain already. I needed to get home as quick as possible. It started to rain softly. Why all of these should happen on the same day? Why the world hates me so much?

Then a jeep, not a bus, arrived. There were few passengers inside. However, I still chose to sit on the front next to the driver. I didn’t care if I got wet because of the rain showering by my right side. I could bear the rain, not the embarrassment, just in case, you know what I mean. And it was a long journey. I thought it was because jeeps have smaller wheels than buses. I noticed that it seemed like there were more trees at night. They even looked like heads of sleeping giants in the middle of the dark night. I got a view of my face on the side mirror. I smiled, knowing that I was still cute through all this. Err.

I was already feeling cold when we reached Calamba. I was so wet because of the rain. But it was fine. I was getting closer to home. That time I was brave enough to take a trike (tricycle) from Crossing to Spring Homes. I asked the driver how much would be the fare. One hundred pesos. Err.

Epilogue

I am thankful that it is my rest day. The side effect is the hardest part of it. I also got a fever. But I’ll be fine soon. I’ll give you an idea of the side effect the medicine has on me. It is like a combination of diarrhea and constipation. It feels like my soul is being drained out of my system that every time I go to the comfort room, I feel like being sentenced to death. There is no comfort with that. Sigh. And another sigh.