Obama Will Fix It!

Scenario 1

Agent: Mr. ****, we didn't receive a payment from you on time and as a result, a past due fee was already assessed on your account.

Caller: I don't give a f*** care, Obama will fix it.

Comment: Adik ka, Sir.

Scenario 2

Agent: We only process your payment once we receive it. And we understand that you sent your payment a week earlier before the due date, however Mr. ****, we don't have control over the delivery of your payment.

Caller: And so do I. I don't have control over the delivery of my payment. I'm NOT the President of the United States!

Comment: The caller has a point. A lame one. Adik.

Scenario 3

Agent: OK, let me repeat what I just said. (And she did.)

Caller: What!? Do what now?

Agent: (Sighing after pressing the mute button.) Mr. ****, I was telling you…

Caller: What fees?

Agent: (On mute) Mamatay ka na sanang matanda ka!

Comment: Bad agent. Anyway it was so funny!

Scenario 4

Fernand Yim: I was in KFC, in line for my lunch. I was next to this beautiful African-American. She really has a beautiful butt. Arg, couldn't help it but noticed that.

Elve Jane: What a maniac.

Fernand Yim: Hey, I was appreciating, not lusting!

Comment: No comment.

Scenario 5

Agent: What city and state, please.

Caller: What?

Agent: What city and state, please.

Caller: What?

Agent: What city…and state…please.

Caller: What?

Agent: (Now irate) What city! City! City!

Comment: What a st**** caller.